What if a child is found stealing, but he doesn't admit it? Will you get angry, scold the child loudly, and beat him again, or will you be so disappointed in him and give him a cold look?
Why do children "steal" and "lie"?
1. Morality is not formed
In fact, when many parents encounter this situation, they will always be angry and disappointed with their children's behavior, thinking that their children are immoral. But what you need to know is that at this time, the child's morality is not fully formed, and the moral sense needs to be cultivated in an acquired process, so parents should not use the adult's morality to ask their children.
2. The child is in the early rebellious period
Children at the age of 8-9 begin to have their own ideas and independent thinking ability, and can no longer be completely controlled by their parents. Some of their behaviors and words are more personal and self-protective. When in doubt, quibble to protect themselves.
When children "steal" and "lie", what should parents do?
1. Appropriately exaggerate the seriousness of the matter
Dami said that she stole her dad's money back then, because the money was in a plastic bag, thinking that the money was so much, her dad didn't know how many 10 yuan cards.
The next day her father got off work and told her very seriously, that this is the money from the factory, and the time to hand it over to the leader today is less. The leader pleads for mercy there.
Presumably, the leader also colluded with her father, which means that if you want money, you can talk to adults.
As a result, after that, she no longer dared to steal money casually.
Appropriately exaggerate the bad consequences of doing such a thing, let the child understand the seriousness of the matter, so that he will not make the same mistake in the future.
2. You can ask questions, but do not press, tease, or intimidate
If the child steals something, parents should not question, tease or even intimidate the child. Such words will be counterproductive and will only hurt the child's heart more easily, making the child reluctant to communicate sincerely with the parents.
Parents can follow the child's answers to ask questions, don't give him time to think, you can ask more and more carefully so that he will always reveal his secrets. Because it takes time to make up lies, there is no way to make up a lot of them in an instant.
However, this method should not be used often. You can only do this when you know that the child is really lying, otherwise, it will easily affect the sense of trust between parents and children.
3. Help children form a correct view of property rights
We often say that parents are mirrors for children to learn and imitate. To let children learn to respect other people's property rights, parents must first respect their children's property rights.
For example, when buying something for a child (toys, clothes, daily necessities, etc.), you can tell him that it is his own, and it is best to reserve a small space for the child to store his own items so that he can feel that he is indeed The real owner of these items.
Moreover, let the children distinguish, that other people's things also belong to others. For example, this is Dad's, this is Mom... Let the child understand the ownership of the item and the concept of "you", "I" and "him".
At the same time, the most important point is that if the family wants to take the child's belongings, it must obtain his consent, and also tell the child that when taking the family's belongings, they must also obtain their consent.
In this way, the child will gradually be able to understand that other people's things belong to others, and they cannot take them casually.
Educator Rousseau once said: "To respect the child, do not rush to make a good or bad judgment on him." In education, what we need more is to make ourselves more calm and rational.