1. Parents should not say damaging words to children
Some parents are impatient and often say "How can you be so stupid?" when they see that their children's performance is unsatisfactory. "How so unproductive?" "What's the use of living?" And so on and so forth to undermine the child. Although the child is "loved and blamed", after a long time, the child's self-esteem will be destroyed. The child's body and mind will also be traumatized.
Therefore, a more appropriate expression should be: "Mom knows that you are worried that you will lose the love of mom and dad if your performance is not as good as your brother's, but you should know that you are both good children of mom and dad, you all have the advantages of being loved."
2. Parents should not say scary things to their children
"If you don't come with me right away, I'll leave you here alone!" Would you really do that? The child certainly hopes you won't take it seriously. Children are afraid of being alone in a strange place. But perhaps similar threats have fallen on deaf ears for him. If it is in a public place and his noise is too much, the more effective way in this case is for you to pick him up and let him understand that you do not allow him to fool around in public.
3. Parents avoid saying things that command the child
Some parents in front of their children to play the wind, always do not allow the child to do this, do not allow the child to do that, a restriction on the child, do not talk about democracy, do not move on the ban, such as: "after school with classmates are not allowed to play outside, not with classmates to his home, not to bring classmates to the house." "You are not allowed to do anything other than study every day." If a child lives with orders for a long time, he or she will gradually become slow and uncreative, or will become rebellious and fall out with parents.
Communication skills for parents and children
4. Parents should not say angry words
Some parents will take the piss out of their children if they are not happy, shouting at them "get out of the way", "don't talk, you can be a mute ah" such angry words, not to give the child a good face. The child is afraid to approach, but cannot avoid it. If the child asks something else, he or she will say, "Why do you have so many questions? "Don't keep asking questions about this and that, go away ...... etc. These are the words that make the child cold, parents should refrain from.
5. Parents avoid saying blame the child words
After a child makes a mistake, he or she often feels very helpless. "How could I do this? I'm so stupid." The child will be chagrined for not listening to his parents at first. At this point, the mother says from the side, "I told you this would happen." Instantly, the child's helplessness turns into self-defense. Out of defiance against the mother's contemptuous tone and out of an inferiority complex that sees itself as stupid, he defends himself. Either he will give in to despair or rebel in anger, neither of which is good for the child's development.
A better way to express this is for the mother to say, "You tried your own way, but it didn't work, did it? I'm sorry for you. Growing up always takes some detours, and so does mommy."
6. Parents should not say things that deceive their children
Some parents don't take their promises to their children seriously, and their words don't believe them, and their actions don't bear fruit.
"Good boy, tomorrow mommy will make you good food and buy nice clothes."
"Study hard, and when you do well in the exams, Daddy will take you to KFC."
These parents often just talk and hardly ever deliver, and over time, the child will never believe again. Such words are worse than the consequences of not saying.
7. Parents avoid saying spoiled children words
Some parents are too spoiled for their children. Often say to the child "you are the heart and soul of the mother", "the root of life". Sometimes encounter children play, as long as the child has to beg, parents are bound to respond. Even when the child scolded himself, not only not angry, but also very happy, smiling and saying that the child has grown up, these tend to cause the child all sorts of bad habits. So, spoil the child words to say less.