1. Squat down and talk to your child
"Squatting down" is a way to understand the child, because only by "squatting down" can I hear every word he says more clearly, and can better see his expression and make an accurate response. In the state of looking at the child, I feel that I can understand his inner feelings better, and he can also feel that we are equal. When we are having a conversation with an adult, it is important to look in the eyes of the other person, because there are many things that can be read in the eyes that go beyond words. The same is true for children. Understanding is the premise of communication, and "squatting down" is the first step in understanding children and conducting healthy parent-child communication.
In fact, "squatting" itself can help us let go of ourselves. We are no longer looking down at children from top to bottom. In the state of looking up, we can also experience equality, your tone may be relaxed, your mentality will no longer be so condescending, and communication with children will be smoother.
2. Do not do to others what you do not want to do to yourself
In interpersonal communication, we will always encounter some unpleasant things, such as being criticized by the leader at the all-hands meeting, being forced to do things we don't want to do... These unpleasant things are the bad luck we least want to encounter Things can make us upset or depressed.
So, let’s go back and think about it, are these things we think of as “unlucky” often brought to children involuntarily? Parents' criticism of their children is often blunt and has a psychological advantage - I'm teaching him! It's for his own good! No one denies the parents' good intentions, but the method is debatable. When we are criticized by leaders, even if we really think that we are wrong, we will take our face into consideration and try our best to find a step down for ourselves. Similarly, children's self-esteem is also very strong, and improper methods will stimulate children's rebellious psychology. Therefore, education is not only ineffective, but parent-child conflicts may also break out. And many parents were also excited at this time, and angrily came to the conclusion: This child is so disobedient!
Empathy is a very effective way to deal with interpersonal relationships. Its deep meaning is 2 very important words - understanding. Every step of a child's growth requires his own efforts. Sometimes it's not that they are naughty and do something wrong, but because their ability is really limited and they really can't do it well. Parents must first have a tolerant heart. Growth always has to pay a price. If the price is just a fragile vase, then you should be less nagging, or temporarily store your distress and pity in your heart. You don't want to break the vase, but if you reduce your strength to a child's size, you may not be able to hold it.