1, Think differently, empathize and learn to listen
Anyone will have a bad mood, and lost time, children are also the same, not to mention that children's hearts are often more fragile than adults!
German psychologist Carolla Schuster said, in fact, when children cry, the first thing that needs to be dealt with is the emotions of the parents.
In the face of a child who is crying, please calm down, at this time the child needs your acceptance the most, only acceptance can crack the child's emotional code.
Emotions are naturally occurring feelings, subjective feelings about what is going on around you, so there is no right or wrong. It is a form of energy that, once it has emerged, never disappears and requires an effective outlet for expression.
If negative emotions are not accepted, adults will often say "no way" when children have negative emotions, or neglect to suppress them, instead of providing children with an opportunity to actually practice facing and dealing with negative emotions, or to understand the psychological process children need to go through when dealing with such emotions. For example, when I feel scared, nervous, worried, or jealous, how do I feel? What can I do?
In this way, the child may be fine on the surface, but the "anger" is still there inside, and the "emotional garbage" builds up and eventually becomes unmanageable.
However, empathizing with your child's emotions doesn't mean agreeing with your child's behavior, and it doesn't mean letting your child use his or her emotional expression as a tool to take what he or she wants from his parents. It is important for children to understand that all feelings are acceptable, but inappropriate behavior must be regulated.
2, Guide the child to sort out the cause
Next, parents should act as an emotional mirror, using words to reflect the child's true feelings and help the child become aware of and recognize his or her own emotions, e.g., "It must be so sad to see you crying, right?" Responding to your child's feelings can help your child understand how he or she is feeling.
After that, continue with open-ended questions, such as, "Did something happen today?" Assist your child in expressing emotions correctly and sorting out the reasons behind them. Only by finding the real reason for the emotional reaction and grasping the child's psychological needs can you prescribe the right medicine.
3, Guide your child to adjust his perception and think about solutions
When the child's emotions have calmed down, guide him to adjust his cognition and look at what is bothering him from a different perspective, for example: "The toy was accidentally broken by a classmate and you feel very angry. But there is no way to restore the toy to its original state by beating it up. Let's think together to see if there is a better way.
Raising children is slow work, more patience, more reward, when children use crying to vent their emotions, more need to listen to us.